Corporate Crude Jokes

Well, am tired of telling reasons for long gap in post that am tired of writing posts. So..
In most of the team there will be at least one person who sparks these corporate jokes spontaneously, which other team members inevitably smiles (like me) or laughs (like him). Generally once he opens his mouth all will keep his mouth in smiling position.. that’s corporate culture yaar… Most of these jokes will always consists of these keywords : FTP (measurement of work), Day light savings (time setting changes), issues or Tickets, Onsite, night out, reimbursement or claiming etc..

Recently we had our lift having announcement system for blinds. So started corporate crude jokes.. Whenever I use the lift, I will hear some jokes on this, and the whole lift rocks, laughing! Some of those:

Once it announced, “You are in 1st floor and the time is 6:39”. One man as usual started cracking, “what? 39!!” LOL!! LOL!! Everyone in the lift, laughing… Hey its digital thing yaar, what different it is doing? Whats there in this, to laugh?

The announcement was something like the life is stopping now. no body understands the announcement, but a joke sparkled from one- “Hey.. the lift is falling down” everybody laughed, fine, okay.. now, he is adding more flavor – “ Common man run! Run!, the lift is falling down”. Very few including me in the lift, looked at him murmuring - shut the …

As usual it announced the same pattern and one guy started his ultimate creativity, “can’t this announce daylight savings?” wow!! wat a joke...k i understand you know these stuffs, but why the day light savings comes here? But still two other persons laughed for tat. So it’s a joke.

Well, whether the announcement system in lift is useful for blinds or not, its very useful for these joking jokers. Bye! for next post...

Return of Simbu

I see TV very rarely, sometimes used to switch between VH1 for music and Podigai for fun, but surprisingly yesterday a bigger fun was awaiting for me in Vijay TV. My friend assured me fun in this program called 'Some Jodi program' - regional tv serial dumbs danc competition. As everyone does we scrolled some other channels when these dumbs start dancing, but we didn't miss any part where the main comedian Simbu opens his mouth. This is the first time i am seeing his comments, that my friend assured will be of fun. To my surprise things turned out more interesting and emotional according to Vijay TV... Very childish and exaggerated drama took place..i have no word to speak about it. Check out the video below.


One thing is for sure, Like Father like son, the same emotional psycho. But you will enjoy this, and don't get tears in eyes,laughing...

And just tried to make use of this cartoon tool - http://www.toondoo.com/

Will come with something worthy one later...

Ganapathy Birth Month (Day)

Here in Bangalore, people who use car like me has to suffer more because of Ganapathy, Because Ganapathy Birthday celebration is converted into BirthMonth. It’s the same as the Ambedkar’s BirthYear! Whenever a politician wants to give free supplies like dresses/food to backward community, they will arrange a function celebrating Ambedkar irrespective of the month Ambedkar is born. The same is the fate for Ganapathy, local rowdies for having their party are giving lift to Ganapathy in their tempo and roams the city causing traffic jam and noise pollution. I wonder instead of destroying Ganapathy by submerging in water, why don’t people destroy him by planting small bombs on his belly? Coz in blore only rowdies celebrate his function who might be using at least petrol bombs…

Seems Ganapathy is the figure just for comedy. I mean he is the comedian among the crew of other Gods. Here is one comedy role of Ganapathy… I feel pity on him; People please give him at least the heroic role of comedy movie (like vadivelu)..

New Tamil Nadu Censor board

This is just to waste time - mine and yours too, just thought of what should be done by the Censor board to make Tamil film industry better.

• Ban the following directors : perarasu, ramanarayanan, TR, Vikraman
• Ban the following actors playing chubby youths: Cap10 Vijayakanth, Rajini, TR..
• Ban the following music directors: Deva, Srikanth deva, Iman, SA Rajkumar..
• Ban actor Vijay, if he doesn’t play 2 consecutive films not as a local B grade fellow (teekadai master, poriki, cycle kadaikaran, auto workshop koolie).
• Ban actor Ajith if he doesn’t use his brain in choosing forthcoming 2 consecutive films.
• Ban cap10 if he does anything in film industry.
• Ban the whole TR family from entering to safe guard Tamil film industry and the job of cinema professionals.
• Ban so called comedians like Satyan, madhanbabu and supporting actors like overacting sreeman and great actors like ramesh..
  
• Ban actor/Director Seran if he plays any sort of modern character.
• Ban the actors if played in movies with age, less than 10 yrs of their real age.
• Do censorship only if the film comes with tag - masala home entertainment.
• Only 5 films per year can be allowed having new Heroes and heroines.
• Ban films having very low budget like ramanarayanan’s and TR’s, if low should be considered as short films or documentaries.
• Ban films having very high budget unnecessarily like sivaji, lovebirds, ratchagan, spending more just for songs and waste fight sequences.
• Ban the directors if their 3 consecutive films appear same – e.g.: Shankar, same mass strategy; bala, same psychic heroes..
• Ban the producers trying to impact on direction screenplay of the film.
• Allow all kind of gore scenes and offensive things usage if really required for the film.
• Instead of having subtitles like “Smoking / Acquiring liquor is injurious to health” in smoking scenes, “This scene has no logic, this is just for the sake of fun” can be put in very worst no-logic scenes, like collapsing one tower to collapse the n/w connection of whole mobile n/w in a city; famous current shock scene by cap10;
• Remove the funny and useless tax reduction on Tamil names for the films.
• Strictly Ban Telegu remakes.

If the above things are done I am sure there would be only some 10 movies per year but that is what the viewers has to see, and eventually their taste may improve . The above is just for the sake of fun, it is clear to everyone, who wants a change in Tamil films, that ‘all depends on the viewers taste; nothing won’t change until their taste remain the same.

Fish rain and Toad explosion

A week before I was seeing the latest film from Nicholas Cage “The Next”. Its quite good with its own style of showing the hero’s powers. Not only Jessica got attracted by the different facts that hero tells but also me, as he told about the fish raining. As I got this bad habit of analyzing confirming info bits which I get, so as I did for fish raining.

I got this link in wikipedia which is about Raining animals, seems fish is the most common one while frogs comes second. There has been several scientific conclusions for these rare occurrences, some of them:

• The frog rain is because, the frogs might have been taken by tornado or waterspouts to a large altitude and made to fall after some time.
• There has been another conclusion for raining of fishes which managed to alive – the eggs are taken to the clouds by strong wind and hatched there and back to the ground as tiny fishes.
• One more theory states that these fishes are from underground fresh water and never exposed to light that they are blind.

When reading these facts, I saw one more interesting fact about exploding animals. Yes in northern Germany toads used to explode because of a strange disease. The toads used to swell up to 3.5 times its size and propelled by the explosion to 3.2 meters. It has been concluded it is due to unknown virus or fungus in the pond they lived.

And finally after my complete analyzing of these facts I concluded

that the temple elephants can’t be rained as they don’t hatch from eggs and they can’t be lifted by heavy winds, but it can explode by some virus or fungus. So better stay at least 2 meters away from our temple elephants.

Joku pa joku.. ok, see u in next post..

whats He doing

The ultimate joke of the year.

In an interview when vijayakanth is asked, whether he had seen sivaji, he replied without hesitation - "i only see good english films".

Thanks Cap10 for making me coming back...

Perarasu across Woods (Kolly to Tolly)

I saw Déjà vu some weeks ago. After seeing the excellent screenplay and story I referred Wikipedia and found out the screenplay for Déjà vu was sold for $ 5 Million. Now lets come to the point, heard about the film Annavaram or something? For this film the story is from our Prominent Director Perarasu, Check this out to know more about him. 1 பொறிக்கி hero, 2 பொறிக்கிய love பண்ற village & rich heroines , 3 குப்ப தெரு for location, 4 வெத்து வேட்டு rowdy villans in queue to get defeated by hero, 5 சிரிப்பான punch dialogues, 6 ஏறசெலான பாட்டு including some big குத்து songs, and every 10 minutes of the movie will have sentiments, jokes, heroism.. The telegu film crew are the world biggest dumbs as they should have atleast given him 1 rupee. Thirupachi to Telegu, Aathi from telegu, etc shows there are dumbs in both states.. May be telegu more, just see the film poster...எப்படித்தான் எப்படி சிரிக்காம..

The Thirds

I wonder when people asking about one's favourite number, Coz its doesn’t sound like favourite color - which pleases you, or favourite dish - which attracts you. But what is in the number?! It sounds like asking one's favourite chemistry equation or mathematical formula. For me it sounds Crazy. Fine, as favourite number is a FAQ, I made up myself to give some answer long before, hence comes the answer THREE. How it came? Simple my DOB 12, 1+2 = 3. So let this be my favourite number. Anyhave, this is not what I wanted to talk. The Third installment movies which gonna hit this year. All these Movies with their Part 1 and 2 did good in box office and now with their Third Sequel, have a tough competition :-

1. Pirates Of Caribbean: At Worlds End - May 2007
2. SpiderMan 3 - May 2007
3. Ocean’s Thirteen - June 2007
4. Shrek The Third – June 2007
5. Bourne Ultimatum – August 2007
6. Rush Hour 3 – August 2007
7. Resident Evil Extinction – September 2007

Now I started thinking, why our Tamil films have no sequels coming up. And I wondered as we are already getting only sequels. Yep, here are some sequels of tamil industry that I can think easily. I have given how the sequel names for all the films for fun..

1. Perarasu’s Thirupaachi, Sivakasi, Thirupathi, Dharmapuri – Total Disaster1,2,3..
2. Cap10’s Sabari, Perarasu, Sudesi, Neranja Manasu, Gajendra, Engal Anna, Chokkathangam, Vaanathaipola, Perivanna, Dharma – Just for Laughs 1,2,3..
3. Vijay’s Madurey,Thirupaachi, Sivakasi, Aathi, Pokiri – Low grade Superman 1,2,3..
4. Ajith’s Thodarum, Uyirodu Uyriaha, Raja, Attagasam, Ji, RED, Paramasivam, Tirupathi – Strictly Flops 1,2,3..
5. Rajini’s Annamalai, Muthu, Badsha, Arunachalam, Padayappa – Second Half Millionaire 1,2,3..
6. Kamal’s Tenali, Panchatanthiram, Pamal K sambandam, Vasool raja –Buffoon Makes Money 1,2,3..
7. Bharath’s Kadhal, Veiyel, Emmagan – Pity Boy 1,2,3…
8. Sethu, Pithamagan, Nandha, Ram, Paruthiveeran – Yet Another Different Movie 1,2,3..

Real Gutts comes here, Krotham 1, 2, 3. Simply mind blowing science fiction comedy series by Prem Kumar with Krotham 3 ready to release for about 2 years. Will it hit this year? Will Hollywood Thirds gonna bite the dust. Only Prem has its answer. Hats off to Premkumar!! Enough for today. Bye for now..

BACK WITH BANG!!


So, after a long time… I have come to you with a hell lot of things. First of all I would like to introduce my logo for special features – Specials features means :-Its like bonus tracks in albums or நம்ம தமிழ் படத்துல வர குத்து பாட்டு or Cap10 படத்துல வர train scene or Song performed by rehman in his ost – இப்படி blade போட்டுக்கிட்டே போலாம்.. Fine let me stop with this.. So u should have come to conclusion it would be either enjoyable comedy or கடுப்பு. So i decided to put this logo for those kinda of post. இன்னும் நீங்க tubelightea இருந்தா, கீழே பார் :

Indiaglitznu ஒரு website இருக்கிறது, email forward messageல வர pics logoவ பாத்துதான் தெரியும். ஆனா இப்ப 1 weeka அந்த website தான் Most visited siteனு BBCல Second flash newsa வந்திருக்கு..

அப்ப, first flash news enna? how indiaglitz became the most famous website? Only one answer – கரடி. These people please avoid seeing this: already வயத்து வலியோட இருகிறவங்க, கரடிய பக்க பயப்படுற குழந்தைகள், என்ன மாதிரி வேலவெட்டி இல்லாம இருக்காதவங்க.

http://images.indiaglitz.com/playerV2/vplayerV81.asp?vid=24561&category=5002

In conclusion, இது commedy பொருளா இருந்து அசிங்க படுரதுக்கு, இத கருணை கொலை பண்ணிடலம்.. மனசு செரியில்ல அப்புறம் வரேன், bye..